Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting takes a stand for the Jewish community
'The insanely overwhelming amount of grateful replies that I got from my followers ... was wonderful.'
(Times of Israel) This headline shouldn’t be that big of a deal. But in a post-October 7th world, it’s huge.
In today’s world, being Jewish means idolising someone your entire life and then learning they’ll side with the perpetrators of the deadliest attack on Jews since the Holocaust.
It means being in the crowd to hear your favourite band of more than thirty years, then listening to Dave Matthews lament the plight in Gaza—with no mention of the suffering in Israel or the atrocities that started the war in the first place.
It means catching up on Dave Chappelle’s latest comedy special only to watch him close the show with a mic drop about how he couldn’t possibly utter the words “I stand with Israel” unless he was under duress.
It means bringing your kids to their first Broadway show and gushing about Allie Trimm’s performance as Glinda — then scrolling Instagram to see her parrot the genocide lie and join Broadway Voices for Palestine, thereby tarnishing the magical memories of your kids’ first trip to NYC forever. (Yeah, that one still stings.)
To be a Jew today means feeling betrayed by people you once admired, so frequently that “Another One Bites the Dust” plays in your head each time the next brainwashed celebrity proclaims their stance to the world.
So when Caitlin Murray of @bigtimeadulting spoke up unequivocally in support of the Jewish community after the horrific Bondi Beach attack, it was a breath of fresh air. It means we can continue to enjoy her hilarious and relatable content without the burden of performing an Olympic-worthy mental gymnastics routine. Beyond that, it’s a momentous occasion worth celebrating when a public figure values standing up for what’s right more than their follower count — a scenario that’s been far too rare since October 7, 2023.
If you’re one of the nearly two million people who enjoys Caitlin’s content, you know she’s a mum who finds hilarity in the everyday challenges of parenthood. She rejects the idea of a perfectly curated social media presence and keeps it real with honest, side-splitting observations on life’s tough moments (often paired with an endearing potty mouth that makes you feel like she’s just venting to her best friend).
While Caitlin’s Instagram account initially began as a way to process her son’s leukemia diagnosis, her authentic and humorous platform now extends to TikTok, a YouTube channel, a podcast, and even a forthcoming book. And now she can add something new to her resumé: ally of the Jewish community.
Leah Grossman: Hi, Caitlin! So not only are you hilarious, you’ve got moral clarity and chutzpah too?! That’s a winning combination if you ask me. What prompted you to speak up for the Jewish community?
Caitlin Murray: I have a lot of Jewish friends that I follow (I have a lot of friends from all different walks of life and different accounts that I follow). I have just noticed that over the course of, I guess really the last two years, there has been an absence of anyone not Jewish on social media speaking up in support of the Jewish community, for what I assume is a fear of aligning with overly conservative politics. I think it’s been very confusing and disheartening for the Jewish people, particularly where I am based in New York, where the majority of them probably aligned with more leftist politics. Political bullies seem to be winning and you see it on both sides. I realised it was only Jewish people posting about their support of the Jewish community and reporting on all of the terrible antisemitic attacks that have happened, particularly since October 7th. I just found it really sad that no one had said anything.
It became very palpable after the Bondi Beach attack that people who were openly Jewish, and people who have kids that go to Jewish schools, were scared all the time. Friends are not comfortable letting their kids wear a Star of David necklace, stuff like that. Eerily reminiscent of Nazi Germany. I live in a fairly heavily Jewish-populated community and there’s always a police presence outside the Jewish nursery school, and it’s just hard to see because of that real threat that is there.
Leah: I appreciated your post so much, especially this observation: “Every Jew I know is in support of minority groups and helping them and yet, publicly, almost no one except Jews supports Jews.” This feeling of abandonment has been a tough pill to swallow over the past two years. It’s commendable that you (as a non-Jew) not only recognised this phenomenon, but said something about it. How much has all of this been on your radar?
Caitlin: As a content creator, and someone who spends a lot of time on social media, trending news is in my face a lot. We are kind of living in a time where the media and politics are so divided and it feels like there’s very little ground for nuanced conversation — it’s either right or wrong. There was pressure for creators and people with large accounts to speak up about Palestine and the alleged genocide. I don’t like to comment on anything political, as a rule — I stay away from that, that’s not what I’m on Instagram for. I know a lot of people think if you have a platform you have a responsibility to say something about what’s going on politically. I don’t feel that way, often I feel like people are underinformed, politically speaking. I feel like my responsibility as a content creator is to make people laugh and feel better about life as a parent. It’s a break, frankly, from the shoving of news and agendas down everybody’s throat all of the time.
The influx of content I was seeing about Palestine, however, sparked me to take a deeper look into both sides of what’s going on … I began taking the temperature of a lot of my Jewish friends and was curious to hear from them about what felt like an anti-Jewish sentiment that the situation in Palestine seemed to reveal. I’m not a historian, but it felt like the Jewish community was being left out to dry — I noticed if anyone tried to mention the Oct. 7th attack, the comment sections were filled with sort of this “they had it coming to them” vibe, and that was pretty sickening to see a blatant terrorist attack being, essentially, justified.
Leah: What was the reaction from your followers after you posted that story in December?
Caitlin: I was really pleasantly surprised that I didn’t get as many hateful messages as one might think. The insanely overwhelming amount of grateful replies that I got from my followers who are in the Jewish community (and even non-Jewish people who commended me for supporting the Jewish community) was wonderful. Truly one of the more powerful responses I’ve ever felt from any story I’ve ever posted.
Leah: It comes as no surprise that you’re starting to dabble in stand-up comedy — you’re so funny! What was that experience like, and how did you connect with Amy Schumer?
Caitlin: I met Amy from doing something for her movie Kinda Pregnant — I was doing interviews on the red carpet for that. She was just incredibly nice to me and has taken me in a little bit, supporting me, and guiding me in the direction of doing more writing with my comedy, and trying to just give me a nudge I think (which has been so nice).
I did stand-up with Amy one afternoon in December, and during her bit she talked a lot about the fears of being a Jew. She said, “I’m Jewish,” and did this thing where she ducked down really fast, like taking cover. She was very funny about it all and light-hearted as she is, but embedded in that was true fear. I didn’t fully explain that at the beginning, but that experience is sort of what prompted my post.
Leah: Will there be more stand-up comedy in your future? What can you share with us about your upcoming book?
Caitlin: I don’t know that I’m going to continue with stand-up comedy … I don’t think that’s where I’ll channel most of my energy. But I am planning to do more writing, maybe some scriptwriting and that kind of thing.
My book will be published about a year from now. It’s a memoir of sorts, it’s short stories about my life from childhood to now. My content is so heavily weighted with motherhood stuff, but it’s really not that — it’s funny short stories. There’s a lot of motherhood content in there, but it’s not the overwhelming vibe of the book. I really just found this passion for writing after my son was diagnosed with leukemia, and I just wanted to be able to write funny stories that were sort of bite-sized snacks of stories … to just let people get taken away in a story and laugh. That’s what I hope this book is.
In a post from November 10, Caitlin wrote, “I realised after becoming a mum that being aspirational for showing your best self is very different from being respected for showing your true self, and the latter was a shitload more meaningful to me.”
It’s more meaningful to us too, Caitlin. Through your vocal allyship, your philanthropy, and your honest and relatable take on motherhood, you’ve shown us exactly who you are.
And I think I speak for all of us when I say: We’re big fans.
Leah Grossman grew up in Atlanta and now lives in Miami, Florida with her husband and two beautiful kids. Her Jewish identity was shaped by NFTY events as a songleader, childhood summers at Jewish camp, and growing up as the Cantor’s daughter at Atlanta’s oldest synagogue. In addition to her blog on The Times of Israel, Leah’s essays and articles have been featured on Aish and Zibby Owens’ Substack On Being Jewish Now.
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