There is a moment in many Jewish women’s lives when hair, something once simply styled, brushed or tied back, takes on new meaning.
After marriage, the decision of whether to cover it becomes a deeply personal negotiation between tradition, identity and modern life. The practice may look different across communities and generations, but it continues to spark conversation: why do some women embrace it, what forms can it take, and why do others choose not to?
For women, the practice of covering one’s hair has deep roots. Rabbinic tradition links it to passages in the Torah and Talmud, notably the sotah ritual and discussions in Ketubot, that cast a married woman’s uncovered hair as immodest in public. Over centuries it was woven into a clear custom: married women cover their hair in public as part of the wider code of tzniut, or modesty.
Despite many beliefs to the contrary, in Jewish tradition, modesty was never meant to dull a woman’s beauty. Rather, it offers a framework of privacy, a way of drawing a quiet line between the self and the world. A head covering becomes one of the tools that helps create that boundary.
Beauty is considered a divine gift, and Jewish custom encourages people to present themselves with dignity. Modesty sits beside that ideal, not to diminish beauty but to guide it inward toward the intimacy of marriage.
When a woman covers her hair, she sends an unspoken message: you may see me, but not all of me.
How a woman covers her hair tells another part of the story.
There are sheitels (wigs), tichels or mitpachot (scarves), snoods, hats, berets and more modern hybrids. While some communities may have a custom to wear one over the other, generally, it is a personal choice and more often than not, women will wear a combination of the options, depending on what they are doing.
A sheitel conceals the natural hair completely while allowing a woman to feel confident. Even when a sheitel looks convincingly natural, the wearer knows she is keeping something of herself reserved, a private space she controls.
Choosing a sheitel is also very private and personal. The process is something that Tzipporah Kastel and Sarah Rabin both take very seriously, saying they are honoured to be helping women through the journey.
“There’s a moment when a woman looks in the mirror and her whole face softens, it’s a mix of joy, relief, and rediscovery. Sometimes there are tears, sometimes laughter, but always this beautiful shift in energy,” Rabin told The AJN. “Helping someone feel like themselves again, or sometimes even better than before, is incredibly fulfilling.”
Kastel, owner of Tzipporah Wigs in Sydney, said that one of the most important parts of her job is ensuring women who come in feeling vulnerable, feel comfortable in her studio. Explaining that she only does one-on-one consultations in a quiet, relaxed room, the process is slow and purposeful as well as private.
“I just want them to feel very safe and calm,” she said. “The feeling never gets old. Every single time someone walks out feeling really good and pretty or feeling like themselves again, my heart is so full and I feel so fulfilled. It’s emotional. I’m just so happy to see a woman feeling empowered again.”
Both Kastel and Rabin have deep roots in the head covering industry. Kastel started a business almost 25 years ago. At the beginning, Kastel would import and sell the wigs and then send them to a hairdresser for styling. As her children started growing older though, she decided she wanted to do it all so she obtained her qualifications in hairdressing. Now, her clients are with her from start to finish, and then on an ongoing basis whenever they need either another wig or adjustments to their existing ones.
For Rabin, it all began when she was serving as rebbetzin of Doncaster Shule, and she began selling wigs primarily within the community. But, it is also deeply personal. “My grandmother was a sheitel macher for over 40 years,” Rabin explained.
The process for women often begins with a conversation. Kastel explained that she often chats to the customer before the appointment to get a sense of who they are and what they need, and then chooses four or five wigs for them to look at when they arrive, so as not to overwhelm them with options. She also talks them through what they need to think about when they are trying the wigs on.
“I want them to focus on three things. Number one is the fit, the comfort. If it’s not comfortable, you’re not wearing it,” she said. “Number two is the texture of the hair and number three is the length. The base colour is also very important but we do a lot of highlighting, and we do change the colour.”
Once the wig is chosen, Kastel then perfects the look on the client.
Rabin said her process is very similar, focusing on the story behind the woman first and foremost.
“From the moment a client walks through the door, my focus is on her, her story, her needs, her comfort. I begin by asking questions: is this for daily wear or occasional use? What’s her personal style? Is she looking for something bold, natural, classic, modern? Then we start trying on different styles, textures, and cap types,” she said. “It’s a very relaxed, private, and supportive environment, just two women working together to find what feels right. The goal is always to leave not just with a wig, but with confidence.”
What’s really important for both Kastel and Rabin, as well as their clients, is that each wig is personalised to their individual needs and taste. Just like natural hair is often a fashion statement, for many women, their head coverings speak to who they are.
This means sometimes they’ll need a head covering like a scarf or hat, other times they’ll want a more glamorous wig. Kastel explained she even has a ‘hat fall wig’ that doesn’t have a top; she just throws a hat on top of it which is perfect for running around after the kids or going to the beach or park.
It’s the reason why many women have multiple wigs, and why many women will also often change the style of their wigs.
While some women start with just one high-quality wig, most will require at least two so they have something to cover their head while their main wig is being washed and pampered.
“Many start with one high-quality wig for daily use, and then might invest in a second for Shabbat, special events, or as a backup. Some women also purchase toppers for lighter coverage or a more casual look. Others enjoy variety and will build a small collection, maybe one straight, one curly, one updo-ready,” Rabin explained.
Kastel acknowledged that there are many women who choose to look the same each and every day, and want one or two wigs that are identical to each other to ensure this is the case. But, much like women style their natural hair differently depending on the day and the day’s activities, she noted that the bigger percentage of her clientele have a couple on rotation that differ from each other.
“There are some really fun people who will go insane, have black and blonde, curly one day, straight the next,” she explained, saying that a good quality wig should last several years.
As both women told The AJN, fitting a wig doesn’t just mean putting the hair on top of a woman’s head, it means styling, colouring, filling in with baby hairs along the hairline or altering the cap to ensure it’s a snug, yet comfortable fit. Kastel explained that this is where not just her hairdressing courses come into effect, but her sewing classes from school too.
“There’s a lot of sewing involved. I actually learned sewing in high school so that has also kicked in 30, 40 years later,” she laughed.
Sourcing the hair and creating the wigs is a labour of love for both Kastel and Rabin. At each step of the process, the hair is personally inspected to ensure it is up to the high standards that both women expect and then the hair is hand-tied or wefted onto a breathable cap. As Rabin noted, it’s a very time-consuming exercise, with some wigs taking more than 30 hours to create.
Kastel explained that she always ensures the hair is fine so the wig doesn’t feel heavy.
“We have to keep in mind that it’s huge for someone to have a heavy wig on their head, so to throw it on and not feel it, it’s a game changer,” she said, saying the structure of the wig is also very important. “The structure of the wig [should] follow the shape of your head. I don’t want to see any coning. I don’t want to see anything like enlarging of the head which you do see with some wigs.”
For Kastel and Rabin, they both acknowledge that starting the head covering journey can be a very big decision and, quite frankly, a bit daunting. A client of Kastel’s told The AJN that she was in tears before she visited Tzipporah Wigs because she was so overwhelmed. When she got married, she wanted to cover her hair but was considering using hats and beanies rather than a wig. She said the process of finding her wig was so comfortable though that she now enjoys wearing it. “To me, I actually feel so beautiful,” she explained, saying she knew she found the right wig when she forgot she was even wearing one.
So, why do some women cover their hair when others don’t. And why do some women choose to wear a wig while others will use a scarf or different head covering?
The answer lives at the intersection of law, culture and tradition. For some Jewish communities, covering her hair is expected of a woman. In others, it may be optional. Personal beliefs also play a role. And for some women, the practice simply doesn’t resonate with their understanding of modern Jewish life.
In the end, it’s a very personal choice and for many women, a beautiful way to honour modesty laws. For Kastel and Rabin, helping women find their perfect wigs is not about business, but about the people underneath the hair.
“Behind every woman is a story. Whether she’s starting a new chapter in marriage, facing a health challenge, or just wants to feel more confident, she deserves to feel beautiful, dignified, and seen,” Rabin said. “It’s a privilege to be part of someone’s personal journey, and I never take that for granted.”
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