Kedoshim tih’yu – You shall be holy
The paradox of holiness – creating space in togetherness.
Parashat Kedoshim takes its name from Hashem’s exhortation to Moshe: “Speak to the entire congregation of the children of Israel, and say to them, you will become holy for I your God am holy.”
Kedushah – holiness is an elusive concept. It is often wrapped up with lofty ideas of connecting to a higher purpose, to a spiritual presence or divine power. However, it can be hard to ground these ideas in behaviour or characteristics that enable a person or object to become holy.
Our rabbis draw out insights about the nature of holiness from the opening sentence of the parasha. Firstly, holiness is a process of becoming rather than a static state of being. The Or HaChaim in his commentary highlights that the demand for holiness is phrased in the future tense – we are commanded to “become” holy. Unlike certain mitzvot that relate to a particular period of the year – for example, eating matzah on Pesach or sitting in a succah on Succot– this commandment applies everyday throughout our lives. Becoming holy involves a continual striving that should infuse our behaviour and relationships.
Secondly, this dynamic striving is a communal endeavour rather than a personal quest. Moshe is instructed to give the message to the entire congregation. The holiness imperative is phrased in the Hebrew plural rather than singular.
Thirdly, the quest for holiness involves both elements of separation and intimacy. The classic understanding of how to become holy is based on Rashi’s comment that holiness requires separation. In particular, separation from the illicit sexual liaisons of the surrounding cultures. When we think of something as holy, we put distance between ourselves and the object or person. For example, the Cohanim (priests) were separated from the remainder of the Jewish people. We also restrict our handling of holy objects such as a Torah scroll or a prayer book.
Achieving holiness through separation is demonstrated through the laws listed in this week’s parasha. There are prohibitions that set up boundaries between the Jewish people and other nations, between individuals within the community. For example, honouring what belongs to others through the prohibitions on stealing, holding back wages and being meticulous with weights and measures. And regarding our relationship with Hashem we are told for example, don’t make idols and don’t swear falsely by Hashem’s name.
In contrast, holiness is also achieved through acts of intimacy or connection. Our rabbis teach that the union between husband and wife is infused with holiness. This relationship mirrors the union of the Jewish people and Hashem through Matan Torah at Mt Sinai. In our parasha, there are also laws that demonstrate a path to holiness through fostering connections. In particular, laws that cultivate dignity and connection to those most at risk of being marginalised from society. For example, laws about respecting the elderly, removing obstacles (literally and figuratively) from before the blind, leaving produce in the field for the poor, and loving the stranger in our midst.
So if holiness is about both separation and connection, how do we dance between these two poles?
We can look to the ultimate moment of connection between human and Divine – Matan Torah – as a paradigm for navigating the ebb and flow of separation and connection.
Even at the most intimate moment of connection between Hashem and the Jewish people at the time of giving the Torah, Hashem directs Moshe to put up a boundary between the mountain and the Jewish people. On a more personal level, when Moshe, the greatest prophet of all time begs Hashem to reveal himself completely, Hashem declines. Hashem passes before Moshe and only reveals his back.
Hashem explains the reason for the distance between them: no human being can witness God in his entirety and live. Love without boundaries can be all consuming and destructive. In the context of our personal relationships, when a person continually pushes our limits and disrespects our personal boundaries, resentment can grow. The pathology of blurred boundaries in relationships manifests itself in issues such as co-dependency between partners (excessive emotional reliance) or enmeshment between parent and child (emotional spill or over involvement that blurs individual needs).
Rather, as the poet Khalil Gibran advises – we need to “make spaces in our togetherness”. It is in these spaces that we can find Hashem. The laws set out in this parasha governing our social interactions provide us with a blueprint for doing just that – for both setting boundaries and for letting love in – for becoming holy.
Rabbanit Judith Levitan is a Sydney-based lawyer and was a founding member of the Jewish Alliance Against Family Violence.
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