The resilience of hope
All three of my grandparents, despite their constant complaints and questions about life, have shown an inner resilience that, in their own way, gives me strength.
This Yom Kippur marked the first time that none of my living grandparents were with me at shule.
For a family that is generally secular, Yom Kippur has always been a day of importance, so not having them with me felt especially significant.
My grandparents, who used to fast and attend services, are now in aged care and no longer able to engage with the day as they once did. Two of them, aged 99 and 101, have not been to shule since before COVID but even last year marked the day in some way, whilst my other grandfather, now 98, has always come for Yizkor at least, but couldn’t make it this year.
In the last few months, my life has been filled with overwhelming responsibility.
Globally, the ongoing war in Israel has cast a shadow over the Jewish community. Locally, I decided to run for council, largely driven by my deep-rooted commitment to the community – both the broader community and the Jewish community.
While the campaign has been a significant focus and I have put my all into it, the true weight I’ve carried recently has been the health and well-being of my grandparents. In the midst of the campaign, each has had physical and cognitive deterioration. Amid these challenges, I also had my cousin’s wedding, which was a brief but welcome distraction. As the custodian of my grandparents’ affairs, I have taken on their care. Between visits to the hospital, meetings with doctors, and almost daily visits to their Jewish Care facility, along with daily and regular campaign activities and some work, my days have been a constant balancing act.
Yet all three of my grandparents, despite their constant complaints and questions about life, have shown an inner resilience that, in their own way, gives me strength. Watching them endure such hardship while continuing to live has reminded me of the power of perseverance. Though they can no longer engage with Yom Kippur and often don’t even know what day it is, their resilience has become my anchor in this difficult year for our people and for me personally.
Looking ahead to the Hebrew date of October 7 and the challenging months beyond, I know that some of my hardest days are still to come.
Eventually, the absence of my grandparents at Yom Kippur will become permanent. Hopefully, I’ll be successful in the local government election so that I can continue to make a difference to the community in a more tangible way, but either way, for now, I hold onto the hope that the strength of my grandparents, passed down to me, will carry me through.
This Yom Kippur, though marked by change and loss, has reminded me that the resilience of those who came before me continues to inspire and guide me. It is this resilience that gives me hope for better days, and it is this sense of responsibility that pushes me to keep striving for goodness in the face of hardship.
Alex Kats is a Melbourne Jewish community activist and an independent candidate for the Balaclava ward at the City of Port Phillip council elections.
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