2010: a top ten to-do list
1. Try to give more money to all the Jewish charities that keep sending me requests. It’s hard to decide whether a scripture teacher for my kids is more important than a new Torah for my shul, or trees for Israel that haven’t been planted yet. This is one of those areas where more really is more.
2. Spend more time with my parents and my children. This one is easy. I will drop my pay-TV subscription and buy one for my parents for their next anniversary. My son will do more homework, my daughter will watch cooking programs at someone else’s home and mess up their kitchen instead of ours, and I will get to watch English football -— in my parents’ lounge room.
3. Watch more Israeli films and less American-Jewish ones. The three Israeli films I saw last year were light-years ahead of their American counterparts. Noodle was a feel-good flick about trying illegal Asian migrant workers; A Matter of Size told the story of fat, failed weight loss students who find redemption in sumo wrestling; and Waltz with Bashir was a devastating account of fighting for Israel in Lebanon in 1982. By contrast, Woody Allen’s latest confessional, Whatever Works, did not. The Coen brothers’ A Serious Man was like going to the dentist — memorable but only for the pain and discomfort.
4. Curb my anger over the absurd costs of kosher food. It won’t be easy. Today’s produce is so clean and well cooked that the dietary innovations of 2000 years seem less relevant than ever. So far, no-one has explained exactly what it is about the kosher cooking process that makes it cost twice as much as its non-kosher equivalent.
5. Be less judgmental about the names given to Jewish babies that appear in the birth notices. In the olden days, not everyone called their children Rebecca, Rachel, Saul or David. Tastes change and people adapt. In a few years, people will start saying that Jarrah, Jaidyn, India and Shakira are good Jewish names.
6. See as many matches as I can at the World Cup in South Africa, without losing my voice or my wallet. Football is as tainted and compromised as any other human pursuit, but the World Cup demonstrates that nations can put aside their deeply felt differences and come together to pursue a shared goal.
Shame it didn’t work with Copenhagen. Perhaps the United Nations (UN) should get FIFA to convene its next climate change summit. Better still, add it to the big four political powers -— the US, UN, European Union (EU) and Russia -— to give the Middle East peace process some genuine clout.
7. Feel more empathy for Palestinians living in Gaza and the West Bank. It’s been too easy to avoid thinking about how hard their lives are while grappling with the political agendas of people criticising Israeli government and military policy.
8. Try to persuade our family to get through the meal barrier at the seder and push on to singing Chad Gadya. In recent years our family has grown, and long-lost cousins have returned to the fold. Despite my father’s best efforts to ensure everyone has a turn reciting the story, we have stalled after the main course.
I will also work out, once and for all, who should hide the afikoman. We have been plagued by doubt: does it fall to the eldest man, or do the children get the honour? Two years ago, we had a communication breakdown and my cousin — who is a big man — accidentally sat on it. His premature discovery has become legend.
9. Come up with a peace plan for the Middle East. My father’s idea sounds like a good starting point: let the Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Muslims and Christians have shared sovereignty of Jerusalem. Turn it into a state within a state, like The Vatican. Give the city its own constitution, and rotate the presidency like the EU. This will create jobs and redirect power away from generals.
10. Finally, give my wife more jewellery. Some things are more important than world peace. Call it one small step for a husband, one giant leap for a family.
Michael Visontay lectures in media at the University of NSW.