Appreciating the moment and what we have in it
Shabbat shalom to all our readers. Here is the parasha for this week.
It has been my pleasure and privilege to serve as a Birthright Israel madrich or group leader for a number of years.
The 10-day programs are always filled with memorable moments. While many of these experiences inspired me at the time they happened, they have also continued to inspire me as time goes on.
One such instance occurred after an overnight stay in a Bedouin village, a full day of camel-back riding, and a swim in the Dead Sea. Exhausted and hungry, we stopped at a local shopping centre on the way back to our hotel.
Like lions crowding around their prey, the participants began charging off the bus towards the restaurants. With their bellies full, we returned to the bus to make our way home for the night. On the bus, I noticed one participant holding onto a serviette/napkin before gently and joyfully placing it in his pocket. I was intrigued by his behaviour, so I inquired as to the reason for saving the serviette. His response was quite profound. It was a great trip with incredible sights every day and memorable programs, but sitting that evening at the restaurant with his new friends, nothing fancy, just an ordinary moment, was what he wanted to remember. The serviette would serve as a reminder to appreciate the simple things in life.
In parashat Vayishlach, our sages make an interesting observation about Yaakov’s behaviour. In order to make peace with Eisav, Yaakov sends gifts to his brother. However, before he sends them, he sends the malachim (angels) to deliver a message to Eisav. They are instructed to tell Eisav, “I lived with Lavan and have an ox, donkey, sheep, servant and maidservant.”
A peculiar aspect of the language of the verse is how Yaakov describes his possessions in the singular tense. It would have been more accurate to write, “I have goats, sheep, oxen, donkeys, servants, and maids” since Yaakov was a very wealthy individual and did not just have one of each! Why did he not use the correct grammatical terms? Was he merely trying to be modest? Was this done to stave off any jealousy that his brother might feel when realising how successful Yaakov had become?
The halachic genius of our time, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, provides an inspiring explanation.
A message was being sent by Yaakov to future generations, to us, the Jewish people. Yaakov was teaching us to appreciate life.
We humans often focus on the grander aspects of life. It is human nature to be drawn to the glitz and glamour, the bigger moments around us.
We become excited and enthused by things that are bigger ticket items, so we often spend our lives waiting for the big moments, such as earning a degree or making a million dollars (if only).
Similarly, we often wait for something to happen for us to be happy. When I get my first job, then things will be good. When I buy my first house … then I will be happy.” The anticipation becomes more important than the present.
Yaakov Avinu reverses this type of thinking. His statement is “Vayehi li shor vechamor”. In this rather strange use of language, he is telling us that he was just as happy and satisfied with his first cow or sheep as he is now that he has tremendous wealth. Every step of the way he was able to find enjoyment and appreciation.
We tend to neglect this every now and then. We would dust off the board games on the shelf and play them for hours on end as a family during lockdowns, especially during the longer Shabbats of the summer.
Our family had a wonderful time and surprisingly, we didn’t have to go on any fancy holidays or to amusement parks to have fun. In the end, simply enjoying each other’s company turned out to be the most fun we had in a long time.
This was Yaakov’s message. Enjoy life’s simple moments, live in the present, and appreciate the everyday blessings that have been given to us. It did not matter to Yaakov whether he had one ox or hundreds of oxen, he valued life equally along the way.
Like the Birthright participant who learned to value a rather mundane moment at dinner, may we also learn to appreciate and enjoy our everyday experiences and may Hashem grant us wisdom and merit to enjoy many more moments in life!
Daniel Rabin is rabbi of Caulfield Hebrew Congregation.
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