Even as we meet our needs compassion is crucial
This week's parasha
A few years ago, I was with my child at his friend’s birthday party and the family had hired a magician for the entertainment. The magician took off his top hat and told the children that when they all say the magic word “Abracadabra” a rabbit will magically appear in the hat. He began to countdown from three to one and then said to the children when I say “one” they should all shout out the magic word.
When he reached down to one, there was a very loud “PLEASE” yelled out by some of the children.
There were a lot of smiles on the parents’ faces and we all received nachas from our little ones knowing that for them the magic word was “please”.
The truth is, however, that encouraging our children to say please and thank you is an important part of educating our children to be well-mannered and mentschen, but the greatest nachas is when your child begins to do this of their own volition. Hearing from teachers or other parents that my children were well-mannered is truly heart-warming and provides a lot of joy and satisfaction.
There is a related teaching contained in the parasha this week, parashat Ki Tetze.
The Torah tells us: “If you chance upon a bird’s nest, in any tree or on the ground, with fledglings or eggs, and the mother is sitting over the fledglings or on the eggs, do not take the mother together with her young. Send away the mother and take only the young…” (Devarim 22:17-18).
The Hebrew expression used for sending the mother bird away is the double expression of the root sh’l’ch — “Shale’ach teshalach, you shall surely send”.
The obvious question is why the need for the double expression? Surely one expression of “send” would suffice and the instruction would be just as clear.
Nachmanides writes that, on the most basic level, the reason for this mitzvah is to teach us compassion.
Taking the eggs within the sight of the mother would cause the mother an acute pain and by performing this mitzvah, we are training ourselves to feel empathy for all God’s creations.
This now offers insight into the need for the double expression. The first use of sh’l’ch in the word “Shale’ach” is God’s instructing us to be compassionate and caring in this instance.
The second expression “teshalach”, however, is God hoping that we will now imbue this trait across all our interactions and scenarios that life brings us.
Hashem teaches us compassion and now it is up to us to become compassionate human beings at all times.
An example comes to mind. A number of years ago I was flying to Israel and during the flight there was another passenger who stood up to pray the evening service (Maariv).
During the prayers he was shockling (moving back and forth) and bumping the seats behind him (including mine). I politely asked him to be more considerate and fortunately after an initial reluctance he obliged.
I approached the person after and we had a robust discussion on the matter and I emphasised that we need to make sure we are consistent with our behaviour and to be considerate of others even at the time we are in the middle of our prayers. In fact, probably more so during these times!
I think that this story in some way illustrates the need for the double expression.
Imagine someone on his way to get eggs for breakfast from a nearby nest and the person adheres to the Torah’s instruction to first send away the mother bird.
A few hours later, the same person is on a flight and while fervently praying he keeps his fellow passengers awake by his passionate activity.
The two parts of his day are not consistent. He has adhered to the first “shelach”. Hashem wants us to make sure we do not forget the second.
This is what the Torah is teaching us with the double expression. Even though I am instructing you to be compassionate and mindful of others, the next time it needs to be from you. It needs to be ingrained within your character, and that YOU personally feel compassionate for the other. Don’t just do it when I tell you to, says God!
With just a few weeks till Rosh Hashanah, during the month of Elul, when we are to work on improving our own character traits and enhancing and bettering our relationships, let us ensure that we internalise the mitzvot so that they become one with us, thereby giving our father in heaven true nachas!
Daniel Rabin is rabbi of the South Caulfield Hebrew Congregation.
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