Finding true meaning in what we do
"Meaning is subjective and arbitrary. Everyone decides for themselves what’s meaningful. For one person it’s acquiring knowledge, for another it’s protecting the environment and for a third it might be helping others..."
In my previous role as the Jewish chaplain serving Monash, Melbourne, Deakin and La Trobe Universities, I would often find myself having the same familiar discussion with the Jewish university students. Many of these young students are establishing themselves for the first time outside the insular walls of the Jewish community and they are searching for life’s objective or inherent meaning.
Searching for meaning is not limited to students at university. Everyone desires a meaningful life but finding meaning can be a different experience for different people.
Meaning is subjective and arbitrary. Everyone decides for themselves what’s meaningful. For one person it’s acquiring knowledge, for another it’s protecting the environment and for a third it might be helping others. It could even be a random hobby like collecting beer bottles from the 1950s. We could take it a step further and say that what one found meaningful a few years ago is no longer so.
There is a dialogue in Megillat Esther (4:8-16) between Mordechai and Esther which gives us a very deep lesson in living a truly meaningful life. Mordechai gives Esther a copy of the decree to kill the Jews so that Esther will go to the king to beg him to save the lives of her people.
Esther replies that she is in a difficult position, as anyone who appears uninvited before the king, is put to death unless the king extends his golden sceptre. “And I have not been summoned for thirty days.”
Mordechai’s reply is very interesting, “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. Actually, if you stay quiet now, the Jews will be saved through a different route, and you and your father’s household will perish. And who knows? Maybe it was for just such an occasion that you were made queen!”
Mordechai gives Esther two very different arguments to convince her to go before the king. First, he tells her it’s wrong to assume that she would avoid the persecutions and only the other Jews would suffer. On the contrary, if she didn’t intervene, the Jews would be saved in another way but Esther as queen would not be able to escape the palace in time. Eventually, she and her family would be exposed as Jews and executed due to the decree.
With this argument, Mordechai is trying to convince Esther that going to the king will benefit her. He is appealing to her understanding of what is in her interest and therefore subjectively meaningful to her.
Mordechai doesn’t stop there, he adds a second argument. “And who knows? Maybe it was for just such an occasion that you were made queen!” This argument isn’t framed as what will be meaningful to Esther as in her or her family’s interests. Mordechai is telling Esther that going to the king might be the very purpose for which she was made queen.
Before she became queen God foresaw a situation where the Jews would be in danger and orchestrated events to put Esther in a position of influence. In other words, this isn’t about what she finds personally beneficial or meaningful. Rather this is her purpose, her calling.
In a mindset of what is personally beneficial, we look at the circumstances in which we find ourselves and decide if, what and how to make it meaningful. It is therefore totally subjective. On the other hand, in a mindset of seeking the objective purpose of our situation, we look beyond what is our personal benefit.
Esther’s response says it all, “I will go to the king contrary to the law, and if I perish, I perish.” These are not words uttered by someone seeking to maximise their personal benefit from a situation.
As Rav Kook wrote: “During all the unlimited time before I was created, there was nothing in the world that needed me. If I was needed for any purpose or to fulfil a specific task, I would have been created. As I was not created until this time, it is a sign that there was no reason to be created until then. There was no need for me, but for that time when I was created. Then, the time had come for me to accomplish something to perfect all of existence” (Siddur Tefillah Olat Re’Iyah 2:356).
Mark Twain reportedly said: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
By reframing the question from searching for subjective benefit to searching for our objective purpose, we can live a more truly meaningful life. The most meaningful thing is to engage in seeking and fulfilling our purpose.
Mendy Ajzenszmidt is rabbi of South Caulfield Hebrew Congregation.
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