Let’s make our community an easier place to make new friendships

Sydney is a beautiful city – from its beaches to its parks, from its cafes to its night life – there really is something for everyone to do, and the vistas that each opportunity can be set in is truly breathtaking. People come from all around the world not just to tour, but to settle down and make Sydney home.

For those who make the decision to call Sydney home, the journey to creating a new network of friends isn’t always easy. Indeed, this year the Time Out Index, a survey of the liveability of cities around the world, ranked Sydney the third worst city to make friends in. I would hazard a guess that our Jewish community can be even harder to break into.

It’s easy to think that being Jewish creates an easy entry point into a feeling of community. However, for those who aren’t from here, the tight-knit school and friendships groups, membership-based synagogues, lack of open communal centres, and geographic changes within our community can make it really challenging for friendly hellos and introductions to transition into new friendships. Covid obviously exasperated this.

One might think that this is a problem for those who come here by themselves, but even those who make Sydney their home because of their spouse or partner often feel the struggle of making new friends. Allison Weiss, the Executive Director of Project NexGen shared, “I moved here with my husband who grew up in Sydney. That certainly helped my transition and meant that I had a very warm welcome, but it was still a struggle to make new friendships as everyone I was introduced to already had their own group of long-standing friends.”

In Shalom’s 2021 impact study, where participants of Shalom’s programming were asked about the inclusivity of the community, not a single respondent aged 20-29 were able to say that the community was inclusive or welcoming. Thankfully, in the year-on-year data, respondents were able to say that Shalom programs provided for enhanced social connections, moving from thirty-one per cent to forty four per cent.

A program like Shalom’s Adamama, which touches on topical issues like environmentalism and sustainability, while also providing an experiential mode of Jewish learning amongst likeminded peers, ranked highest in the connection sentiment, scoring 84 out of 100. However, it is not enough!

Project NexGen – a new community organisation that helps young adults to reimagine and create the Jewish community and connections they want for themselves – and Shalom noticed a particular gap in extending a warm welcome to those who move to Sydney as young adults and have come together to make it easier for them to find ways to onboard into our community.

Together we are organising a purely social event for those who did not grow up here, or grew up outside of the traditional Jewish bubble, to make it easier for them to meet likeminded people. Attendees will receive a booklet with introductory information on communal organisations that young adults who didn’t grow up in Sydney may find useful and relevant. The hope is that by meeting new people in the same boat and having some additional relevant information as well as a relational approach from organisations across the community, the Sydney Jewish community can become a little more welcoming, feel a little more like home, and create the much-needed connections that can blossom into friendships.

I didn’t grow up in Sydney, and upon arrival my network was relatively small, I had to build new friendships, juggle a new city and a number of unexpected challenges. Covid didn’t help, even though making friends was such a priority for me, and it was probably the most difficult part of the move.

Allison Weiss adds that “often those who are from outside the community become our biggest champions, and so it’s also a benefit more broadly to get them involved. Hopefully this event will be the start of a new project and we will be able to change that difficulty.”

The Sydney Jewish community loves a good shmooze and creating great networks, but that next step of creating a new friendship takes more time, outreach and effort. So, if you know anyone who just arrived in Sydney, has been here for a few years, or even just grew up outside the Jewish bubble, let them know about the event, and let’s collectively make Sydney a more welcoming and inclusive place.

What: New to Sydney Trivia with Keyan Kramer, drinks, pizza and prizes!
Where: The Sheaf, Double Bay
When: 7pm, Tuesday 8^th November
Who: Anyone aged 22-35 who moved to Sydney in the past few years or grew up outside the Jewish Community
Cost: $15
Book at: bit.ly/newtosydtrivia

Rabbi Alon Meltzer is Shalom’s director of programs.

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