Life-cycle events: education for a Torah based life

Much is said in our communities regarding what are termed life-cycle events. The key smachot are the brit, bar/bat mitzvah and of course the wedding – with all its associated celebrations. Of course, there are other life-cycle events related to end of life but I am only concentrating on matters of simcha.

However while those events generally mentioned are those listed above there are at least three others intrinsic to contemporary Orthodox Jewish life 

The first of these is the opsherin (or opshernish) actually a Yiddish term literally meaning the cutting off. It is the climax of a tradition where a boy’s hair is left uncut until his third birthday, marked by a celebratory first haircut ceremony. It signifies the transition from babyhood to formal Torah education and the beginning of observing mitzvot like wearing a kippah and tzitzit. 

That haircut actually involves transforming what might be viewed as an unremarkable action to one in fulfilment of a Torah commandment.

The law of peyot (sidelocks or side curls) comes from Vayikra 19:27, which states: “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads.” Accordingly already at this first haircut the boy’s hair is styled in fulfilment of this law to ensure a Jewish appearance. Whilst certain chassidic and also Sefardic/Yemenite communities take this to forbid any cutting of the relevant sidelocks so that one develops long peyot as seen in some communities, the basic law as per the Talmud (Makkot 20a) explains that the “edges” or “corners” refer to the hair between the temples and the ears, simply prohibiting the complete removal or
high rounding of sideburns. 

And so how does the opsherenish ceremony operate?

Family and friends take turns snipping a small lock of the child’s hair. The honour of the first cut often goes to a rabbi or respected relative. The sidelocks (peyot) near the ears are left uncut to fulfil the aforementioned biblical commandment against rounding the corners of the head. The haircut style aside, as an introduction to a life of mitzvot the boy is then dressed in a kippah and tzitzit for the first time. 

While the above is the basic component of the ceremony, additional components include an introduction to “sweet learning”. The little boy may be given or distributes honey-sweetened treats. In some communities he is also shown letters of the Hebrew alphabet smeared with honey. The idea is to show the sweetness of learning, symbolising that learning Torah is “sweet to the tongue”. Finally participant guests or family members give coins to charity for each lock of hair cut, or perhaps coins given to them by the child himself.

Now to a second lifestyle event.

In Pirkei Avot (Chapter 5, Mishnah 21), Judah ben Tema states a series of traditional stages of life and learning: The first is “ben chamesh l’mikra” – At five years old one is fit for the study of chumash. We then read that at 10 years one is fit for the study of the Mishnah, and at 13 for the fulfilling of the commandments. He continues through 15 for the Talmud, 18 for chuppah, and then a series of others from 20 onwards regarding stages of life at 10-year intervals 

Actually what the opening lines of this mishnah achieve is to outline an ancient step-by-step educational milestone plan.  Jewish communities historically adapted this timeline. Children today often begin learning basic Torah text and prayers earlier than five, and study a blend of text and commentary rather than waiting until age 10 for Mishnah or 15 for deeper Talmudic analysis. 

Nevertheless at this point my concern is the opening statement that remains a normative practice. For me personally this mishnaic statement regarding a five-year-old has a deep personal connection. My late father Zev Aron known communally for his educational work, was steeped in the traditions and practice of German orthodoxy. Fulfilment of halachic prescriptions and minhag – custom – was a cornerstone of his life. And albeit that now well over seven decades have passed, one of my clearest recollections of specific aspects of early childhood life recalls that on my fifth birthday he sat me down with a chumash to show me the opening verse of parashat Vayeshev (Bereshit 37) dealing with the story of Yosef – obviously as that is my name – read a few lines and told me the story. Accordingly on my grandson’s fifth birthday last week I told my son-in-law to similarly began teaching chumash to his son in the presence of other family members – he jumped at the idea immediately recalling the mishnaic prescription.

Finally I come to the pre bar mitzvah custom surrounding Hanachas Tefillin – the wearing of tefillin for the first time.

Let us be clear. Important it may well be to a family and boy that the boy learns the brachot and all or part of the parasha for the day he is called up and the haftara, and that a celebration is subsequently held. But there is much more to a bar mitzvah. The boy is literally “bar” – the son – of mitzvot required to carry them out. And first and foremost among them is wearing (“laying”) tefillin of which a pair (or in some communities especially Chabad two pairs for technical halachic reasons) is his most important bar mitzvah present.

However for practical reasons, boys must begin practising wearing tefillin prior to their birthday. Depending on community customs, this training period typically starts 30 days to months before the bar mitzvah date. The first day a boy puts them on is marked as a special family and community milestone, often paired with a small gathering or kiddush. Here in Melbourne I am continually seeing the classmates of a bar mitzvah boy gather at the time each boy first lays tefillin in a ceremony that remains with him to encourage continuation of the practice. And in this regard I am once again proud to see a grandson carrying on the tradition.

May we all only celebrate smachot as we carry on tradition in our families and communities.

Shabbat shalom,

Yossi

Yossi Aron OAM is The AJN’s religious affairs editor.