New life after Bondi

When Ariella Yehudis grows up, her mother Sheina Gutnik hopes she knows exactly who her zaida was and how fiercely he would have loved her.

Ariella, Gutnik told The AJN, has brought the grieving family an unbelievable amount of joy, after the murder of Gutnik’s father Reuven Morrison in the Bondi Beach terror attack last December.

Gutnik said knowing that she was growing life inside her while speaking about unimaginable pain, death and grief, including giving evidence at the Royal Commission, gave her a strength and comfort she didn’t think possible.

“It was such an insanely horrific time. There wasn’t even that feeling of waking up and realising the nightmare was real, because it never stopped. It was just this continuous, looping nightmare, even in my sleep,” Gutnik shared.

“And then, in the middle of all of that, I found out I was carrying new life. It was one of the most explosive emotions I’ve ever experienced.”

While Gutnik said it’s too early to tell what Ariella shares with her grandfather, she does see the light that her daughter has brought.

“After nine months so consumed by death and loss, holding this brand new little person feels enormous. She has brought so much life back into our family when we desperately needed it,” she said.

Gutnik shared that Ariella’s names were chosen for their meanings. Explaining that Ariella means “lioness of G-d” and Yehudis is the heroine of the Chanukah story, both have deep connections to the courage and conviction that Morrison has become synonymous with when he confronted the gunmen at Chanukah by the Sea. But, Gutnik said, Yehudis also means “Jewish woman” and that’s what Gutnik wants Ariella to embody.

“I never want her Jewishness to be defined by the fact that her grandfather was murdered for being Jewish. We want her name to carry pride and joy in the beautiful Jewish identity she has been born into.”

Gutnik admitted that the timing of Ariella’s birth, the first High Holy Days since Bondi, has been hard, saying that the joy doesn’t make the grief smaller and sometimes it makes her miss her father even more.

Gutnik also said the past nine months have tested her faith.

“I’ve questioned G-d plenty over these past nine months. How could this happen? Why did this happen? I don’t think faith means never asking those questions. But through all of it, we haven’t let go of our faith,” she said.

Since the family announced Ariella’s birth, Gutnik said, the community that grieved and cried with them has been able to share in their joy.

“After sharing so much pain so publicly, being able to share her arrival has been really beautiful.”