Planning for the meal of consolation

Jewish funerals are full of traditions. Some are deeply personal. There are some though, where the community can assist. An important tradition is making sure the mourners are fed.

Washing hands

Upon returning from the funeral to the home where shiva will be observed, it is traditional to ritually wash one’s hands with water from a pitcher placed outside the door. This custom is based on the biblical concept that contact with a corpse is a major cause of ritual impurity (Num. 19:11). It also stresses that Judaism is concerned with the value and dignity of life, rather than excessive attention to or worship of the dead.

Meal of condolence

It is the obligation of the community to provide a meal of condolence (seudat havra’ah) for the mourners on their return from the cemetery. It is traditionally provided by the neighbours of the bereaved, or relatives. The meal of condolence must be the very first meal eaten on the day of interment.

Types of food

It is customary to serve foods that are round to symbolise the cyclical and continuous nature of life. Among the most common are hard-boiled eggs (a symbol of the close connection between life and death), lentils, chickpeas, and even bagels.

According to some, the egg is the only food that hardens the longer it is cooked, stressing that human beings must learn to steel themselves when death occurs. Similarly, the egg is completely sealed inside its shell, reminding the mourners to remain silent and refrain from casual talk.

Lentils are especially significant because, unlike most beans, they have no eye – symbolic of the deceased no longer being seen. Also, just as lentils have no mouth, so are mourners forbidden to open their mouths to greet people (Gen. Rabbah 63:14).